Cloud Delfina Cardona

on the state’s tongue

before i laid flat on my back at the tattoo shop and heard “Stars” by Hum for the first time, nineteen years after its release

before my mother discovers Paloma Picasso is her signature scent

before my father finds solace in the encyclopedia’s delicate pages at the Alice Public Library

before C smokes weed out of a Gatorade bottle, while Sofia plays “Death of a Disco Dancer” by The Smiths on her iPhone

before my tia moved out of the empty house on West Summit Avenue, where we lit everyone’s birthday candles

before i was assigned to spreading masa against the husk

there was Porvenir

a town in west texas where texan rangers, local ranchers, and u.s. soldiers

murdered fifteen Mexican-American men and boys in the middle of the night

a retaliation after the killings at Brite Ranch on Christmas Day 1917

they looked at their nice shoes and thought them bandits

just enough to justify their murder to their bosses

after the massacre, Manuel Moralez’s sixth child was born that night

after the massacre, Juan Flores waited 80 years to tell his family how he bore witness to his father’s murder that night

after the massacre, Captain J.M. Fox reported that his men “unfortunately had to kill any number of Mexican bandits”

after the massacre, none of the rangers were found guilty

after the massacre, one hundred and forty residents fled Porvenir for good

after the massacre, these widows fell in love with other men and women

after the massacre, these rangers were let go and then rehired

after the massacre, these widows never fell in love again

after the massacre, the children of survivors danced

after the massacre, the children of survivors harmed themselves

after the massacre, the children of the children of the children of the Porvenir survivors run along the aisles of the Texas State Capitol on the 100th anniversary

after the massacre, we will never cease to remind you of what happened that night

after the massacre, we find new reasons to keep going

after the massacre, we know that Texas is forever haunted, just like the rest of this goddamn country

Cloud Delfina Cardona (she/they) is an artist, writer, and book cover designer from San Antonio, Texas. She is the author of What Remains, winner of the 2020 Host Publications Chapbook Prize, and the past is a jean jacket (Hub City Press), winner of the Naomi Shihab Nye First Book of Poetry Award.Their poetry can be found in The Offing, Prairie Schooner, The Boiler, The Los Angeles Review, and more. She is the co-founder of Infrarrealista Review, a literary nonprofit that publishes
Texan voices. She moonlights as DJ Mexistentialism.